Raising Healthy Kids: Seven Tips for Co-Parenting After Divorce

After your divorce is final, you probably don’t have any great inclination to cooperate with your ex about anything. You may never want to see your ex-spouse again, but to your children it’s very important to have the security of a dependable relationship with both parents. Tips on Co-Parenting After Divorce can help you.

It’s a challenging situation; even if your split is amicable, you may be surprised when emotional situations come up—an ex’s remarriage, for instance—that threaten to derail the most cordial understandings. Here are several tips for making a very difficult situation a little easier.

1. Decide how to divvy things up.
   “I’ll buy all the school supplies.” “I’ll pay for Jimmy’s violin lessons, and I’ll pick him up at 5:00 to take him to his lesson.” The more you and your ex hammer out and agree on the details, the better it’s going to go. If it’s necessary, you and your ex can set up meetings to discuss the specifics.
2. Don’t play silly games.
   If you know your ex is dying to take the kids to the new dinosaur exhibit, don’t take them yourself just to spoil his or her fun. You probably have a pretty good idea how you can subtly drive your ex crazy, but declaring a truce will mean more happiness for everyone in the long run.
3. Don’t jump to conclusions.
   It seems to happen in every divorce. The child misinterprets something he hears at one parent’s house, repeats it to the other parent, and—war breaks out. Or your former sister-in-law passes along malicious—and untrue—gossip. Give your ex the benefit of the doubt. There’s a lot of room for misunderstandings to arise when you’re divorced.
4. Don’t criticize the other parent.
   Don’t discuss the specifics of the divorce with your children or within their hearing. When you’re really angry it’s hard not to make critical or snide remarks, but keep in mind that this is upsetting for the children.
5. Do NOT ask your children to take sides.
   It’s natural to want to rally the people closest to you to your cause, but your children have a strong need to look up to both their parents. You’re doing them a favor if you try to make the other parent look good, rather than trying to get them to agree that your ex is a jerk.
6. Don’t expect your children to become spies.
   If you’re using your children to get information about your ex, they’re going to resent it. Your children are innocent bystanders in this matter and they should be treated as such.
7. Encourage your kids to have good relationships with the other parent’s family.
   Children really benefit from having both sets of grandparents, and you’ll make their lives richer if you encourage them to maintain good relationships with your ex’s family.

Learn More With Help from Divorce Attorneys in Alabama

Co-parenting after divorce is always challenging, but it’s important that you put aside your hard feelings for the sake of your children. At New Beginnings, it’s our goal to resolve family law matters such as divorce in a way that protects the innocence and the emotional health of children. If you’re considering divorce, or need assistance with another family law matter, New Beginnings Family Law can help. Please contact us today to learn more.