Saying “Yes” to “No!”

“No” doesn’t make anyone a bad person. Yet, for many of us, it is one of the hardest words to say. Two simple letters that can empower how we conduct ourselves and how people see us. Yet we feel the need to withhold them in order to appear friendly, cooperative and productive.

With a history in negotiation and striving to resolve conflict, we here at New Beginnings Family Law understand how frustrating it can be putting what others want before our own needs. While this is a wonderful thing in many ways, it can also limit our own self-development.

The art of saying “no” can mean not holding back. It means not striving to please others; essentially implying what others want always comes first. The ability to say “no” is empowering. It establishes boundaries and lets others see we have the freedom to behave in our best interest. The fact is many people depend on your desire to please and often take advantage of it. They even count on a little fear. This includes your boss and relatives.

When someone is asking something of you, if you are not interested, be direct and honest. Say, “No, I can’t” or “I don’t want to.” Avoid apologizing as it makes you look weak. If it is something you do not want to outright say “no” to, ask for time to think about it and get back to the person. Avoid lying. The best way to learn to stand up for yourself is through honesty and that’s what this is about; standing up for yourself. Do not talk about “maybes,” or your reasons (especially if you do not really have any), and do not waffle or feel the need to go into specifics. Learn to let people down with polite grace but always with an authoritative firmness.

As Huntsville Family law attorneys, we see a lot of people who feel trapped, guilty and resentful for not looking after themselves. It is never too late to consider freedom, empowerment, and control. It is going to be one of your greatest challenges, but learn to say “no.”