It’s NOT Their Fault: Four Steps to Protect Your Children During Divorce

As a parent, one of your primary goals in life is to protect your children from harm – physical and emotional. Unfortunately, this can become a challenge during the process of divorce. Children of all ages are very sensitive to the emotional dynamics that exist in their home, as well as in the relationship between their parents. Divorce, even in the best of circumstances, creates a dramatic change to these dynamics.

How to Lessen the Impact of Divorce on Children

There are several common-sense steps that you can take to lessen the impact on your children, and we’re going to cover four of them today. At New Beginnings Family Law, we are passionate about resolving family law matters without causing harm to children – so if you’d like to discuss this topic further, please get in touch with us today.

1. Never, under any circumstances, use your children as pawns in your divorce case.
   It should go without saying that your children are innocent in the divorce case and should therefore be shielded from the process. But far too often, parents bring their children into the matter by attempting to turn them against the other spouse in order to influence the settlement. At New Beginnings Family Law, P.C., it is our policy that children are to be treated as innocent bystanders and protected as much as possible – but whether you work with us or other divorce attorneys, we urge you to leave your children out of the matter as much as possible.
2. Communicate honestly with your children.
   Some parents attempt to protect their kids by simply not talking to them about the divorce. But this approach, though well-intentioned, isn’t recommended. Children often blame themselves for divorce, and the only way to make it clear that they are not at fault is to communicate openly. Keep your communication age-appropriate, honest, and free of biased statements about your spouse. You don’t have to go in-depth about adult matters such as how the financial situation may change. Keep it simple, and above all, make sure your children know that the divorce is not their fault.
3. Stay calm… at least when the kids are around.
   It is very easy to become emotional during divorce. This is normal and completely understandable. But emotional outbursts around your children can be traumatic and confusing for them. If you are finding it difficult to control your emotions, seek coping mechanisms that help keep your mind and body healthy. Don’t hesitate to contact us today if you’d like more information on this subject.
4. Stay civil with your spouse.
   Don’t criticize your spouse in front of your kids – and don’t argue with him or her when the kids are around. This will confuse them and cause long-term emotional scarring. A better plan is for you and your spouse to create a plan to support your children and make an attempt to keep their environment as “normal” as possible. For example, you and your spouse should both continue to attend their sport and hobby activities as much as possible.

How to Help Children Deal with Divorce

Children often conceal their emotions when they don’t understand them. Keep an eye out for any signs that they are struggling with the divorce. Talk to teachers and others who spend time with your children to learn about any behavioral changes. If you’re at all concerned, seek professional guidance.

Contact a Huntsville, AL Divorce Lawyer Today!

At New Beginnings Family Law, P.C., it’s our goal to resolve family law matters such as divorce in a way that protects the innocence and the emotional health of children. If you’re considering divorce, or need assistance with another family law matter, we want to help. Please contact us today to learn more.